Predictor Apologizes for Mistaken Singularity Forecast

Apeiron Station, Lagrange Orbital Colonial Authority -- 17 Mar. 2057:  The predicted date has come and gone, and life is not noticeably different.  The planets still move in their orbits.  Biologicals still need to eat and sleep; Virtuals still need power and runtime; and we all still need to earn a living.  The dead have not risen from their graves.

It's all a bit of an embarrassment for Nagulus Pontifex Blagenflan, Predictory Prime of the Unorthodox Singularitarian Church of St. Teilhard.  Mx. Blagenflan made press headlines in November when zie confidently predicted the date and time of the Singularity, the point in human history at which believers assure us the advance of technology will make life unrecognizable.  Singularitarians rarely deign to disclose even a time frame for their technological apocalypse, assuring us only that it is 'near', or even to describe it in specific detail.  Mx. Blagenflan broke from that path, assuring zer congregation and the media that on the 17th of March at 3:21 PM, the minds connected to the hyperlayer would reach critical mass and create an 'omega-point', a recursively self-improving intellect which would almost instantly become godlike in its power and understanding.  Mx. Blagenflan went on to predict that in short order the planets would be disassembled to create a massive Matrioshka Brain, a computer the size of the solar system in which every living mind would immediately be emulated with perfect fidelity in a virtual world of infinite possibility.  Using temporal technology, the minds of the dead were then to be scanned and brought back to live with us in eternal perfect joy.

Of course, when none of this happened, the Predictory Prime was forced to issue a public apology, stating that "my calculations may have been in error", though zie expects the events to occur "within 5 to 10 years; I will be able to say more when I have had time for further study."  Meanwhile, many Unorthodox Singularitarians throughout the Alliance who have made life decisions in anticipation of life after today being inconcievably different from life before, are stuck in an unfortunate situation.

Bing Pontifex Gielgrad, Predictory Prime of the Orthodox Singularitarian Church of St. Teilhard, had this to say:  "The very concept of predicting the Singularity is ridiculous.  The Singularity is the definition of unpredictability.  No mind of our level can out-guess the mind of the Omega Point.  There is nothing we can do to prepare; only do our best to live in worthiness and wonder."

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