Psychedelic Carrots Sold As Normal Produce

Surrey, Cascadia, Earth -- 8 May 2057:  Daniela McNaughton received a nasty shock after eating a salad made with what she believed to be entirely normal carrots purchased from a local greenmarket.  "The colours around me started to become very intense.  The whole room seemed to be breathing.  Things became very large, or very small, or somehow both simultaneously.  Time slowed down to a crawl, and I felt as if I was losing all connection with who and what I was.  I fought to maintain a hold on reality; I felt like I was going insane... I'm sorry, I mean to say, like I was inadvertently experiencing an altered state of consciousness.  I'm sorry; it was just very upsetting.  It was the most frightening thing I've ever experienced."

Like hundreds of other consumers, Ms. McNaughton had unwittingly purchased a batch of NovoGene "Trip to Neptune" brand vegeceuticals, which are genetically enhanced to produce lysergic acid diethylamide, better known as Acid or LSD, in quantities sufficient to produce a consistent level-2 psychedelic experience in most biological neurotypes.  The carrots in question were grown from a batch of mutant seed which lacked the gene which produces the brand's distinctive, and trademarked, 'rainbow tye-dye' colouration.  As such, they were mistaken by growers, wholesalers, retailers, or buyers throughout the system for their common orange relations and consumed in salads, soups, and a variety of other meals -- with variously distressing or delightful results, depending on the temperament of the people involved.  "I never have had any intention of altering my consciousness," Ms. McNaughton told us in an in-person interview.  "For those as choose that, it's all well and good, but I didn't want it, I didn't like it, and I don't think it's right.  Children ate those carrots, and older folks with weak hearts, and people whose psychological health could be impaired.  Someone needs to be held accountable."

The Bureau of Alterant Regulation this day promised a thorough investigation of NovoGene's quality control processes to determine how the mutant seeds were distributed to the public and appropriate penalties.  A class-action lawsuit has also been filed in Cascadia Regional Civil Court by the law firm of Blarntzen Stacklove & Root Pi, and NovoGene has taken a beating in the markets, with stock losing nearly a full credit on the InterPlan Index over the past weeks.  After a lengthy silence, NovoGene has issued a terse press release apologizing to the unwitting consumers of its product and promising to comply fully with the investigation.  With over 700 reported cases of customers being dosed by the psychedelic carrots, this is now the largest recorded case of mass vegeceutical poisoning in history, topping a 2043 incident in which nearly 500 people accidentally consumed entheogenic strawberries.

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